Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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