Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
