Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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