it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
