OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
