Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
the night ended with taco bell and tears
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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