Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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