maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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