I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
