I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
