I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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