ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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