The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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