U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize