I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
