next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
