Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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