i permit you to call me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
