Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
