I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
no. you can't hotbox the world.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
