Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just high enough for therapy.
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So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize