Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
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If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
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Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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