On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize