sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
