This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Randomize
