i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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