I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
