What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
