We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
