During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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