we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
