we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
