I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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