I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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