She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
