the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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