I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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