Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
