The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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