I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Boobs are out for the taking
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i out mim tonsoeep
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