So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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