I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
