I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize