If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize