ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
