I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She's like a pop up book from hell.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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