Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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