Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
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