There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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