Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
