just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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