There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
