Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the day after is always just damage control
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
