He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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