Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
