What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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