Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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