now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
