I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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