yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
