Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
