I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
handjob tips. give me some.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
