guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
