The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
