Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize