So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
